cartorque vol 7 - ‘Who Makes the Best Cars?’

Who Makes the Best Cars?

There’s a question that’s been asked in pubs, garages, and internet forums since the first caveman strapped a wheel to a rock and called it a chariot: “who makes the best cars?”

Now, depending on where you are in the world, the answer will vary. In America, it’s Ford—because your dad had one, your granddad had one, and it can tow your fishing boat while blasting Springsteen. In Germany, it's BMW—because they believe the only thing more thrilling than tax efficiency is cornering at 140 mph on the Autobahn in a turbocharged straight-six. In Italy, it’s Ferrari—unless it breaks down, in which case it’s not your fault, it's “just passionate.”

But the truth? The truth is messier, more nuanced, and likely to start a bar fight.

Let’s start with the obvious: Germany.

No one does engineering quite like the Germans. BMW makes you feel like a Formula 1 driver on your way to the shops. Mercedes will let you float down the motorway in a cocoon of leather and subtle menace. And then there's Porsche—utterly brilliant, laughably fast, and engineered with the sort of obsessive precision that makes a Rolex look like a Happy Meal toy. A 911 Carrera S might just be the best all-round car in the world. If it had a kettle, you could live in it.

Japan, though—Japan makes cars that actually make sense.

Toyota builds machines that are virtually indestructible. A Camry will outlive you, your children, and quite possibly the sun. Honda, meanwhile, is like your overly polite genius neighbour—quiet, modest, but underneath, smarter than all of us. And then there’s Mazda, they build cars like the MX-5, which is essentially a go-kart for grown-ups. Rear-wheel drive, manual gearbox, 50:50 weight distribution—it’s driving distilled to its purest form. It doesn’t have a thousand horsepower. It doesn’t need it.

What about the Brits?

Ah yes, can’t forget about us, in a land of scones, sarcasm, and car companies that regularly go bust. Aston Martin makes cars for people who think driving should feel like starring in a Bond film—and they’re not wrong. Jaguar? Stylish, quick, and likely to require a stern call to the AA. Land Rover? In theory, the ultimate off-roader. In practice, it’s an SUV that costs as much as a house and throws a tantrum every time it rains.

Then there's the Americans.

They do brute force better than anyone. The Dodge Challenger Hellcat is basically a muscle car with ADHD. It’s loud, it's fast, and it’s about as subtle as a punch to the face with a bald eagle. Ford makes the Mustang, which is now surprisingly refined, and Tesla, well... Elon’s electric spaceship company has changed the game (even if we have to say it reluctantly). The Model S Plaid accelerates so hard it bends the laws of physics and probably offends several European diplomats.

And don’t forget the Koreans.

Before I begin this may be the only time you hear me speak positively of Kia so revel in it. Ten years ago, Hyundai and Kia were jokes. Now? They’re some of the smartest cars on the road and Kia. Affordable, reliable, packed with tech, and surprisingly fun to drive, The Hyundai Ioniq 5 looks like a cyberpunk hatchback built by aliens with good taste. And the Kia EV6 GT? It can do 0–60 faster than a Porsche Taycan 4S and has seats that vibrate when you corner, Just a shame all the other options at the Kia dealership require you to wear ladies underwear.

So… who wins?

Well, if you want the “best” car, you need to decide what “best” even means. For luxury? Mercedes. For fun? Porsche or Mazda. For not ever having to visit a mechanic? Toyota. For blowing your face off with G-forces? Tesla. For making you feel like a Martini sipping, Tuxedo wearing spy? Aston.

But here’s the truth, whispered quietly so no one hears… There is no best carmaker.

There are only the right cars for the right people. Some want passion. Others want practicality. Some just want to put their foot down and hear the thunder.

And some of us? We want all of it, in one car. That, sadly, doesn’t exist… Yet.

But when it does... it’ll probably be built by the Germans. With a Japanese gearbox. Styled in Italy. Assembled in Korea. And sold by an American YouTuber named Chad.

Adam Woodruff

Writer